New Years Resolution Inspiration
At 40 something, 5’4’’ and weighing nearly 14 stones I was a fat, middle-aged, wallflower of a woman waiting to be asked to dance; devastated when I wasn’t; embarrassed if I did and very self-conscious of my figure or rather lack of one.
I started my dancing with Jo’s Wednesday night Salsa Leeds beginners class and soon met Jake and James (Now Salsa Dance Leeds), the guys who put the social in Salsa Socials! I was going through the soul destroying experience of compulsory redundancy too so I was stressed out and generally lacking in all self belief. A few years of staying in watching TV up to and following my the birth of my son, Charlie, I needed to get back some me time and focus on something other than work and being a mum.
Salsa was something I’d always wanted to do since having a taster at a Christmas party and being asked how long I’d been dancing – they made me think I was a natural…ha ha how wrong they were. Salsa with my new friend Catherine (a platonic blind date set up by my helpful husband!) was my respite. It was my one night a week when I had to concentrate so hard on something that I completely switched off my work troubles. Sadly, I was less able to switch off my own lack of self confidence. I felt old.
“The crowd was young and I wanted to be one of them and tried really hard…”
but I’ll never forget how I felt for those first months waiting to be asked to dance at Salsa Leeds and going home sometimes having only been danced once or twice. Jake and James were excellent and I have never known any salseros that salsa dance with every single lady in the room regardless of their age, looks or ability… they always made me feel like a friend, always welcome and sometimes even made me feel that I’d done a gone job, even when I lumbered around like a baby elephant or missed their leads.
In those days at Salsa Leeds I was secretly jealous of my companion Catherine who was always asked to dance, much more than I was but she had a few advantages, being tall, slim, pretty not to mention ten years younger and I forgot to mention she’s not a half bad dancer either! Despite the barriers I placed in my own way because of my negativity and self disgust I did improve – some weeks more than others and I loved the social scene, I loved my ‘me-time’ and I loved my new hobby of dancing with young men!
Feel free to leave your comments below for me and also!
Click here for the next installment and see how I turned myself around and now look like this…